Women in eLearning: Language, Gender Equality, and Leadership

There are a number of conversations exploring the genderequality challenges that exist in workplaces. That’s good. We need moreconversation around this topic. It helps us contextualize it and increaseawareness.

These conversations often stall at a single question: “Whatcan we do about it?” My contribution to this series explores a simple thing wecan all do to improve the gender equality situation, and it has to do with oneof the foundations of conversation: language.

First a disclaimer. This article is going to use some languageyou never see in Learning SolutionsMagazine, specifically two words: “bitch” and “jerk.”

Context is important. This magazine is read by adults,and the gender equality issue is a serious one that requires mature discussion.Using an alternate form of it like “B-word” dilutes the weight the word has inthe context of the issue at hand.

If seeing that word used here offends you, you may notwant to continue. But I hope you do continue regardless.

TheImportance of language

Years ago I worked in a financial institution with afairly large L&D team. One day, a member of the instructional design teamcame to my office. He was upset with his manager—a female—who reported to me.

The reason he was upset is immaterial, but I think it’simportant to acknowledge that, in the scenario in question, the manager hadcrossed some lines and her behavior was inappropriate. The instructionaldesigner’s complaints were not without merit.

So I listened without interrupting, both to learn aboutthe situation and to let him get what he needed to off his chest. That is,until he said this:

“She’s such a bitch.”

I stopped him there, telling him it was an inappropriatecomment. He obviously didn’t realize why I thought the comment was inappropriate,because he was visibly surprised by the next thing I said.

“She’s not a bitch. She behaved like a jerk.”

Language is a powerful thing. Every word has meaning, andthat meaning can change and/or increase in weight based on the context of howthe word is used.

First, the word “bitch” has very specific meanings whendirected to a woman. It has a different connotation when directed at a male.The point is, using the word bitch immediately brings gender into a discussionthat really doesn’t need it.

Compare that to the word “jerk.” Anybody can act like ajerk. It’s not a gender-specific term, and as such doesn’t immediatelycomplicate a non-gender-related issue by dragging gender into it.

So I explained that to him, and the conversationcontinued.

Labelingpeople vs. labeling behaviors

“Fine, she’s a jerk,” he conceded. And again I countered,this time with, “No, she’s not a jerk; she actedlike a jerk. There’s a difference.”   

Consider this in your own life, and let’s use a differentscenario. You’re at work, and you make a mistake. When you discuss it with yourmanager, he or she says, “You are so stupid.”

This is an overall assessment of you, as a person. It’snot time-bound or tied to context; it’s a label describing who you are. Itmakes it much more personal. Change the word “stupid” to somethinggender-specific like “bitch” and you complicate it exponentially, as you labelnot just an individual, but also that individual’s gender.

Contrast that with the manager responding with, “What youdid was stupid.” It’s by no means appropriate, but it changes the weighting ofthe message. The “stupid” label is no longer applied to the individual; it’stied to the action. It is by its very nature a time-bound, contextual comment,and a label that goes away once the associated behavior ceases.

A phrase you often hear in parenting conversations is, “Labelthe behavior, not the child.” This concept transfers to adult interactions aswell.

Languageis more than just what we say and write

I’m not recommending that you begin using the word “jerk”—it’snot likely a word that you would use in professional or managerial situations.It can be heard as a bit rude, regardless of context. My point is that carefullychoosing our words and how we use them can directly impact the quality ofgender-relations. Language goes far beyond the way it shapes interactions; itshapes the way we think.

In the immortal words of the comedian George Carlin, “Wedo think in language … and so the quality of our thoughts and ideas can onlybe as good as the quality of our language.”

Of course this extends beyond just the two words exploredin this article. Consider the words you use in conversation, or when you’reangry. These words shape the way we think. It’s probably a good idea to steerclear of nouns that label the person, and try to focus on adjectives thatdescribe specific behaviors.

One thing that managers and leaders within work groupsmust do is to help employees and co-workers understand this and make it thenorm, by personal example and, where necessary, through appropriate correctionor even consequences.

Consciously making the choice to remove fromwhat we say some of the language that tears away at gender equality is a goodfirst step. Hopefully it can lead to a change in the way we all think—which isthe only true solution to the gender equality challenge.